It started on New Year's day back in 2005. A new friend of mine from church invited me to a party. I showed up feeling nervous, awkward and out of place. This was unlike a party I had been to in a while. There was no beer or loud music. There were board games and soda and lots of laughing. I met my husband Dana that night, we were at his parents house. I remember thinking he was a very gracious host but was oblivious to what I was told later was his shameless flirting. I also thought he was taken.
I was in the process of a divorce at the time. I was wallowing in the feelings of my brokenness. I was devouring God's word and trying to understand how He could love me....how anyone could love me.
A week or two later some friends from that party were headed on a road trip. It was an 8 hour drive, pack up a dorm room and turn around and come home type trip. Either we weren't paying attention to the weather or the ice storm came out of no where but the four of us ended up spending a solid 48 hours together.
I realized then that Dana had an interest in me and that he was in fact not taken. It was exciting and scary and confusing. I also realized that I wanted to be around him, all the time.
And from those 48 hours on we didn't spend much time apart and when we were apart, we were on the phone for hours at a time. I told him everything, every horrible sin from my past and he just loved me. He loved me right where I was, no questions asked, no judgments, all my baggage included. He shared how he been watching me (not in a creepy way) for a while, waiting on God's timing for our paths to cross. He had been praying for me...preparing his heart for me.
About a year after we met we were married. Yesterday we celebrated eight years of marriage and his love for me has never wavered. It's always been wholehearted and unrestricted. I'm not going to lie, we are living the fairy-tale like in the sappy movies and mushy books. But unlike books and movies it's not always easy and sometimes it's just plain work and there in lies the difference between God's love for me and Dana's love for me.
It's not hard and it's not work for God to love me. It's a gift, freely given. The Bible is full of displays of God's love for us. A great one is Psalm 136. It's still hard to comprehend it, but I accept it.
Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them -
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
Psalm 139:17-18
I thank God every day for Dana. For creating him just for me. For placing him in my life at exactly the right time. For showing me what unconditional love looks like.
Yesterday, Dana and I were reminiscing about our dating days and our wedding day as I imagine most people do on their anniversary. I asked him what it was about me that peaked his interest all those years ago. His reply shocked me. He shrugged said "You were cute." I did the startled, unbelieving "What?!?" because I figured it was charming disposition that drew him in. Cute, is not one of the words I would describe myself with.
I got flowers yesterday, the card read "I love you. You're pretty cute."
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