Progress, Not Perfection...Social Eating

Thanksgiving is just two days away and I don't know about you but I will be sitting down to not one, but two traditional, lavish meals. When I started my journey to a healthier me, holiday eating and social eating really overwhelmed me.   How do you do it? How do you overcome the overload of temptations lined up buffet style that are tantalizing your taste-buds?

Most importantly, I think, is that you go into the holiday or social gathering with the right mindset. You start out by praying something like this, "Lord, you know the temptations that I am about to face as soon as I step into that room. But your word says that with You all things are possible.  I need You and Your power to go with me. Amen"

Then you give yourself a little pep talk that goes something like this, "I am not depriving myself of food that others may be able to partake in, I am treating myself with healthy food and am embracing making healthy choices. I am not going to give up what I want most for what I want right now. Six months from now I'm not even going to remember how that pumpkin pie tasted, but six months from now I will see the results of my healthy choices."

"You surround them with your shield of love" (Psalm 5:12)

And do you know what the Bible commentaries say about what kind of shield this is?

It's a full body shield - the kind that covers head to toe. 

Whatever fears and hurts you carry about your struggles with food,

know that you are surrounded this day, and every day, with a shield of 

God's love that no enemy can penetrate. God has you covered, head to toe.

[excerpt taken from Lysa TerKeurst's Made to Crave]

Have a plan. Decide ahead of time what you are going to allow yourself to eat and drink.  If you are hosting, seek out healthy recipes and substitutions for your menu.  If you plan to allow yourself to indulge also make a plan on how you will work it off.

Stay hydrated. It's easy to confuse your bodies thirst cues with hunger. Keep a bottle of water handy before, during and after to curb the nagging feeling in your stomach. Pay close attention to the beverages you are consuming as juice, pop and alcohol can be loaded with unwanted calories.

Feast with your eyes first. Peruse what is being served and then start with fruit, vegetables and lean meats to take the edge off your appetite. Make one trip to the buffet, be selective and keep your portions small. Then take your plate and sit as far away as you can get. Try eating with the opposite hand if you need to slow yourself down.  

Bring a healthy dish to share. If you are headed to a gathering bring a dish that you know you can indulge in. If you are hosting, consider packing up leftovers and sending them home with your guests.

My husband has an alter ego called Dr. Candy. He makes these delicious candies and loves to bake for fun. But we've made a hard and fast rule at our house: if it doesn't have somewhere to go, we don't make it.  We've also learned that people love when you share! 

But sometimes, you have to be prepared to remove the temptation or flee (hopefully with a little grace).  I had to flee my own house one day.  I had a tasty supper simmering in the crock-pot (my favorite way to cook) and the smell was driving me crazy all day long.  I found myself constantly walking into the kitchen, searching the cupboards for something, anything until I finally said "Enough!" and piled the kids in the car and got out of the house. Sometimes you have to flee.

Happy Thanksgiving friends! Remember who you are, you are an over comer created for victory!

Progress, Not Perfection...Goals.

What you get by achieving your goals

is not as important as

what you become by achieving your goals.

Henry David Thoreau

When I began my journey to a healthier me I knew I needed a goal; an aim, a target, an end. I also knew that giving myself the goal to loose a 100 pounds would be seriously overwhelming and I'd fail miserably. So I started out with small, attainable goals. For me it was pre-babies weight, pre-wedding weight, pre-meeting my husband the wonderful cook weight and finally what the BMI chart says is a healthy weight for someone my size.  

Maybe your goal isn't a number. Maybe it's to move more, portion control, drinking more water or to try new things. Maybe your goal is to find peace in your own skin. That ended up being my goal. Peace, more than any number on the scale; I wanted peace.

It's true the scale can give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity.

That's it.

It cannot measure your beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength or love.

Don't give the scale more power than it's earned.

Steve Maraboli

Once it clicked in my brain that the number on the scale held no power over me I began to feel peace. Once it clicked that the number on the tag of my jeans did not define my worth I began to feel confidence.  And it snowballed from there into amazing, life changing things. I became a different person. A lighter, healthier, more confident me.  

Karen Ehman speaks on her blog about defining your week by obedience, not the number on the scale.  She says that before we step on to the scale we should ask ourselves: Did I overeat this week on any day? Did I move more and exercise regularly? Do I feel lighter than I did at this time last week? Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration? Did I feel that, at any time I ran to food instead of to God? Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I'd had a successful, God-pleasing week? As you review the questions you can assess your own progress and after you come face to face with your own, honest answers, the number on the scale doesn't mean much. 

God created it.

Jesus died for it.

The Spirit lives in it.

I'd better take care of it.

Pastor Rick Warren (re:our bodies)

It's common knowledge that exercise has amazing health benefits physically and mentally but I neglected it for a long time. I didn't like it. It was hard! It felt like punishment and made me want to groan or cry. Maybe your feeling the same?

But as I started to see the results of just changing my eating habits I became more curious as to what would happen if I added exercise to the mix.  My goal was small and simple: Move More. Because basically I was doing nothing, outside of chasing three small children and taking care of our home, so anything was better than nothing.

First, focus on something you can do. For me, I started walking. If we had an errand to run that was within walking distance, we walked. When the weather became too cold and the sidewalks and roads were covered in snow and ice I got a pass to the elementary school and walked there. (Since I didn't have a destination, this was sometimes hard to make myself do until I found a friend willing to walk with me. Accountability made a huge difference!)

Meanwhile, my husband started running, like miles at a time.  I was jealous. I wanted to be able to run with him. So I started off small. Jog half a block, walk two blocks, seriously. Until, finally the day when I ran my first nonstop mile in 13 minutes. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and jumped up and down and did a happy dance. Yep, that was me.

Finding something you can do and enjoy doing will make all the difference in getting started. Maybe it's walking or running. Maybe it's joining a gym or an intramural sports team? Maybe it's swimming or yoga? Keep trying things until you find one that fits!

And sometimes that means trying things you never dreamed you'd enjoy. For me it was a dance class. Our church started offering a REFIT class. The timing was perfect for my schedule, it was all the ladies were talking about. But slightly uncoordinated me wasn't too sure. Dancing? In a room full of women?

But I gathered up all my new found confidence and went to my first class. I realized about 3 songs in that I was too busy watching the instructor and trying to figure out the moves to look at anyone else. So I figured no one else had time to be looking at me. It. was. amazing. I'm hooked. I have little REFIT dance parties in my living room with my girls daily now. Who knew?  I wouldn't have if I hadn't taken a chance. 

KNOW

THAT 

YOU

ARE 

MORE 

THAN 

ENOUGH,

YOU

MATTER

TO

SOMEONE.

YOU

ARE 

A

STORY

OF

REDEMPTION,

RESTORATION,

REVOLUTION.

YOU

ARE

THE

SPARK

THAT

LIGHTS

THE

FLAME,

YOU

BRING

PURPOSE

TO

THE

WORLD

AROUND

YOU.

LIVE

FREE.

{Rock the Revolution}

Progress, not perfection...becoming informed.

But really, what do you eat?

I get this questions a lot. I feel I should tell you upfront I don't enjoy cooking and I'm not very good at it.  But I've always loved to eat.  And there lies the problem.  I realized I was eating because I enjoyed it, I wanted it and because I could.

I decided I had to change the way I thought about food. I had to start thinking about it as fueling my body with the things it needs in order to take care of it.  It became more of a stewardship issue than a health issue.  I realized I had to eat to live and not live to eat, and that for me was huge.

Because of our change in thinking our diet has become pretty routine.  We've found a few tried and true things that a) taste good and b) are good for us and we tend to stick with those.  People also ask a lot it it gets boring and sometimes, sure, it does.  But when I remember these things satisfy me and make me feel good it doesn't feel like much of a sacrifice.

When I started this journey, I didn't give anything up initially. I did cut some things way back, mainly sugar and carbs. I had a serious addiction to Diet Mountain Dew  at the time but I slowly cut back and weaned myself off. It took months for the cravings to go away. Sometimes, usually at the most random times, I still have a craving for one. A few months ago I gave in to one of those cravings and let me tell you, it was disgusting. Your body will begin to crave what you put it in it.

I also used to be one of those people who couldn't stand to drink water. When I gave up my soda I switched to the carbonated flavored water but soon that became to sweet.  I switched to the Crystal Light packets that you add in to your water bottle but before long that became to sweet too. I challenged myself to drink 8 cups of plain old water a day; I'm not a very competitive person, but I am a determined one. It didn't take long before all I really wanted to drink was water. And here's a fun fact: research shows that starting your day by drinking 16 ounces of water reduces calorie intake by up to 25%.

So much of what I've learned is that when it comes to changing your habits, changing your lifestyle, it's mind over matter. It's making the choice and doing it. It's about progress, not perfection.

When it came to looking at what I was eating I mainly focused on tracking my calorie intake. Calorie counting apps like My Fitness Pal make it easy to also see the amount of fat, sugar, fiber and protein you are taking in. Talking to a doctor or dietitian can be a good way to start setting goals in how many calories you should be taking in. Once you know how many calories you should be eating, become informed. Start reading your labels and learn about correct portion sizes. Research ways to make your favorite recipes healthier or find some new ones you'd like to try. Look at the nutritional data of the menus for your favorite restaurants and determine in advance what you will eat when you go out.

Find more information on how to
stop binge eating here.

Learn what your trigger foods are; the ones that you have the strongest craving for or the ones you can't stop eating once you've started are a good place to start. For me there were trigger foods that I had to get rid of all together, at least for a time.  For me chocolate is an issue. If it's in the house, I will eat it.  And if I indulge in a little, the cravings for more come at me full force. There are some trigger foods, like pizza that I can allow myself to eat again with moderation, but chocolate I must eat with caution.

Also think about what is triggering you to eat. Are you an emotional eater that looks to food to fill up the hurt or loneliness your feeling?  Do you greet food like an old friend when you're stressed and approaching a deadline? Maybe it's when you're bored or when you're mindlessly watching tv? Knowing what your triggers are is the first step to conquering them. And the best way to conquer them is to saturate yourself in truth. And the truth is "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19

So what do I eat?

• Breakfast usually consists of eggs with ham and peppers topped with a bit of salsa; or a bowl of oatmeal. I used to detest oatmeal until I came across The Oatmeal Artist's blog. She makes it sound and look so delicious I had to try it again. Plus oatmeal is full of fiber which is full of health benefits and helps you to feel full. I found some recipes my family loves (and a few we don't), our favorites are the  Apple Pie Baked Oatmeal and the Blueberry Muffin Baked Oatmeal.
• Lunch is mostly likely a large salad. There are so many combinations that it doesn't often get boring. Add some protein and a salad is quite filling.  Beware of cheese and dressings because this is where you will find most of your calories.  Make sure to measure out your serving sizes with these.  Salsa is another good option in place of your dressing.  Try adding fruit or some crushed pretzels for crunch. The sky is the limit here!
• Snacks generally consist of fruit or raw veggies.
• Supper tends to be some kind of meat (we eat a lot of beef because it's what happens to be in the freezer) and vegetables. We try to limit meals with pasta, rice or bread to once a week.
• I do drink some coffee in the mornings but otherwise stick to water the rest of the day.  Staying hydrated is so beneficial to your body but can also help curb cravings during the day.

This is what has worked for me and my husband but everyone is different and you need to find what works for you and what you can live with.  The most important thing you can do is to become informed about what your body needs and what you're putting into it.

Progress, Not Perfection...Pray, Plan, Accountability.

When you've decided you want make a healthy lifestyle change it can be so overwhelming. Where do you start?

First I think that we have to realize that our will power is not enough to battle the war that rages with our genes and the calorie excessive environment in which we live. Dr. Ski Chilton explains in the Made to Crave Action Plan that God created us with hunter/gather genes that would enable us to survive a famine.  And back when the Israelites were wandering in the dessert this was a good thing. But, if we're honest, most of us are not going to see a famine anytime soon.

Dr. Chilton goes on to say the marketing efforts of the food industry today pushes us to consume a diet of 3,800 calories a day.  If you wanted to maintain a healthy weight you should consume around 2,000 calories a day.  If you are looking to lose weight you should consume less than that. We live in an environment where our food options are plentiful.

Discovering those two things made me feel less than hopeful but the amazing thing is God never intended us to go through this life alone. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 says "It is God who enables us, along with you, to stand firm for Christ. He has commissioned us and he has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us." and 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."

When we embrace the truth about who God says we are, we have access to divine power that goes way beyond even our strongest white-knuckle willpower. It's graced power, death-defying power, transformational power-and the Bible says it's ours for the taking. {Lysa TerKeurst,  Made to Crave}

So we pray. We ask God to go before us, to help us to make healthy choices and resist temptations. We can use every craving to eat as a prompt to pray. We can pray ourselves through the grocery store. We can rely on the power that He gave us with His Spirit. God never tires from our voice and we can depend on him to meet us where we are each and every day.

And we plan. You need to come up with an eating plan that works for you in your individual situations. This may be a good time to see your doctor or a dietitian. Do your research. A great place to start is by recording what you are eating and counting the calories. You will discover in a hurry what foods are "worth" and which foods just aren't worth it. But make sure your plan is something you can live with long term-like forever. Remember this isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Even more importantly than counting your calories is planning what you will eat ahead of time.

I was so resistant to this idea but I tell you it's one of the best things we have implemented in our house. It was also the most popular response when I asked the ladies that have joined me on this journey what the most helpful thing they have learned was. It takes a little effort to plan a week of meals but it's worth it.

You research your recipes. Plan out the week (or month if your ambitious) and then make your grocery list. When you go to the store you shop the perimeter (think produce, meats, dairy) and when you have to venture into the middle aisles you stick. to. the. list.  Some of the women shared that they even go ahead and prepackage their snacks for the week. And when you wake up knowing what you will you eat that day or you have that healthy snack stashed in your purse or desk drawer, it's much easier to avoid a desperate feeling situation.  You know what I'm talking about, those times when you feel you have to eat right now or you might fade away. It's really hard to make a good choice in those situations.

Next, find an accountability partner, or two. I can hear you groaning. I know this is a hard one. Asking someone to hold us accountable is not high on anyone's to do list. It means making yourself vulnerable to someone else. It means owning up to the choices your making. But in my experience the benefits far outweigh the potential for embarrassment.

The American Society of Training and Development give these statistics: the probability of achieving a goal is 10% when you hear an idea, 40% when you decide you will do it, 50% when you plan how you will do it, 65% when you commit to someone else how you will do it and 95% when you have an accountability appointment with the person you've committed to.

The Bible says this about accountability: Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can you be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I really believe that praying, planning and accountability will help you build a solid foundation to making a positive and healthy lifestyle change.  These verses from the book of Proverbs back that up.

The plans of the godly are just. {12:5a}

Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; 

take good counsel and watch them succeed. {15:22}

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. {16:3}

Plans succeed through good counsel;

don't go to war without wise advice. {20:18}

Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity,

but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty. {21:5}

This journey will require you to make some tough sacrifices, but I've come to look at this process as embracing healthy choices rather than denying myself. There are lessons to be learned and perspectives to be gained in the season of embracing healthy choices. These will not just be physical lessons. The mental and spiritual lessons gained in this times will be the very thing that will equip you for the long haul. {Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave}

And remember friends, it's about progress, not perfection.