Forget about it...

I was recently talking with a someone and painful things from the past came up.  They told me "You need to FORGET about it." My immediate thought was "that's impossible."  We don't live in a world with memory erasing devices or serums and as painful as some memories are I don't want to forget them, and here's why: I've seen God use them for His good.

It was almost a year ago I was asked to share my story publicly at church in front of a lot of people. On the outside I was freaking out about this, making myself vulnerable in a room full of mostly strangers, sharing dark things like being raped...divorced...suicidal.  But the thing is God gave me such incredible peace in my mind that I stood up and did it. And then I was asked to share it again and again and again.

Now it would be really easy to park my brain in a spot that dwells on things that have haunted and damaged me. But to park there is to stay in a spot that makes me feel angry, hurt and emotionally empty. Or I can choose to park in a spot of forgiveness and grace.  If I park here than those painful things no longer have power over me; they no longer define me.  Instead I can learn and grow from them.  I can use them as a marker of sorts to see how much God has changed me or to see how far He has carried me.

The amazing thing is in the last year I've seen firsthand what it says in Romans 8:28 "and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them". I've heard from women all over the world who have stories similar to mine who needed to hear they weren't alone.  And if I had to go through those awful things to so that someone else can hear about grace then it was worth it.

God's plan for us is so much bigger than the little snippets we see. In Isaiah 55:8 God says that His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways not our ways, but through faith we can trust that He has a plan to use it for good. Even when it hurts.

So let's not forget what has happened in the past but let's trust that sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place.