Speaking Truth: Don't let your center go undone...

Last night I gathered with a group of ladies who are going through the study Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.  During the video portion of our evening Lysa recounts a story of her daughter baking a cake.  As her daughter was watching the cake bake it looked done, it smelled done, so she decided to ignore the directions and take the cake out of the oven twenty minutes early.  The cake caved in because it could not withstand the pressure of an undone center-and neither can we.

I've gone through this study several times with groups of women.  And from these sessions we have had many conversations about recipes and how to cook healthier, diets, shakes, oils, pro-biotics and vitamins.  We've talked about becoming planners and shopping the perimeter of the grocery store. We discussed how to handle emotional and social eating.  We've talked about accountability and making the courageous choice.  And these have all been important conversations and all of these things have benefit, yet last night I realized it's possible to get stuck in doing all these things, good things, but our center can still be left undone.

See we can change our outside packaging but if our center is not parked in God's truth for us we won't be victorious women. We will continue to battle poor body image and low self esteem.  The sting of sacrifice will feel great and the cravings for "treats" will be greater. And suddenly we will find ourselves in a spot where making these good changes won't feel worth it.

When I started this journey almost two years ago I found it was much easier to make outward changes, to eat less (and right) and move more, than it was to let God mess with my insides.  It became painless to make a healthy choice but it was hard to listen to God tell me who I really was, His cherished and lavishly loved child.

I spent years listening to the lies that Satan fed me. That I was fat, ugly, worthless and unlovable.  The damage was done and loosing 90 lbs and 8 dress sizes wouldn't change that.  It wasn't until I said "Okay God, here's my heart, speak what is true." that those lies started to fade.  It was letting Him speak truth to my heart and then parking there.  It was filling myself with His word instead of trying to satisfy myself with food, or relationships or "stuff". It was letting myself be God's child and accepting His love, even if I don't deserve it.

The results have been a lot less of me on the outside but sometimes I feel like my insides are overflowing with joy, peace and contentment.  As someone who has taken medication for depression, anxiety and battled suicidal thoughts for 17 years to someone who chooses God's grace and love as my drug of choice.  From someone who avoided physical exertion and ate in secret to someone who looks forward to opportunities to work out and has become a walking billboard for Made to Crave.  From someone who cried herself to sleep and had panic attacks about going out in public to someone who lays it all out here in hopes of reaching someone who is suffering so they may know that hope is not lost.

Father God, I thank for giving me the courage to share my story and I pray that you will use it for your glory! Speak truth to our hearts and please don't let our centers go undone. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord

Here'e my heart Lord

Speak what is true