Speaking Truth: Don't let your center go undone...

Last night I gathered with a group of ladies who are going through the study Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.  During the video portion of our evening Lysa recounts a story of her daughter baking a cake.  As her daughter was watching the cake bake it looked done, it smelled done, so she decided to ignore the directions and take the cake out of the oven twenty minutes early.  The cake caved in because it could not withstand the pressure of an undone center-and neither can we.

I've gone through this study several times with groups of women.  And from these sessions we have had many conversations about recipes and how to cook healthier, diets, shakes, oils, pro-biotics and vitamins.  We've talked about becoming planners and shopping the perimeter of the grocery store. We discussed how to handle emotional and social eating.  We've talked about accountability and making the courageous choice.  And these have all been important conversations and all of these things have benefit, yet last night I realized it's possible to get stuck in doing all these things, good things, but our center can still be left undone.

See we can change our outside packaging but if our center is not parked in God's truth for us we won't be victorious women. We will continue to battle poor body image and low self esteem.  The sting of sacrifice will feel great and the cravings for "treats" will be greater. And suddenly we will find ourselves in a spot where making these good changes won't feel worth it.

When I started this journey almost two years ago I found it was much easier to make outward changes, to eat less (and right) and move more, than it was to let God mess with my insides.  It became painless to make a healthy choice but it was hard to listen to God tell me who I really was, His cherished and lavishly loved child.

I spent years listening to the lies that Satan fed me. That I was fat, ugly, worthless and unlovable.  The damage was done and loosing 90 lbs and 8 dress sizes wouldn't change that.  It wasn't until I said "Okay God, here's my heart, speak what is true." that those lies started to fade.  It was letting Him speak truth to my heart and then parking there.  It was filling myself with His word instead of trying to satisfy myself with food, or relationships or "stuff". It was letting myself be God's child and accepting His love, even if I don't deserve it.

The results have been a lot less of me on the outside but sometimes I feel like my insides are overflowing with joy, peace and contentment.  As someone who has taken medication for depression, anxiety and battled suicidal thoughts for 17 years to someone who chooses God's grace and love as my drug of choice.  From someone who avoided physical exertion and ate in secret to someone who looks forward to opportunities to work out and has become a walking billboard for Made to Crave.  From someone who cried herself to sleep and had panic attacks about going out in public to someone who lays it all out here in hopes of reaching someone who is suffering so they may know that hope is not lost.

Father God, I thank for giving me the courage to share my story and I pray that you will use it for your glory! Speak truth to our hearts and please don't let our centers go undone. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord

Here'e my heart Lord

Speak what is true

Be Angry...

Does anyone else feel like summer flies by at warp speed? I feel like there just aren't enough hours these days to do all the things I would like to do and I confess I have been slacking on spending time in the word and reading my devotional (and obviously my blog writing has suffered as well).  That's why I'm still reading through Lysa TerKeurst's Unglued.  It's a 60 day devotional that I've been working on for six months now.  I made some remark as to how pathetic I was for it to have taken me so long to my husband and he graciously reminded me that the Lord was giving me what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.  My husband was of course right, and I love him for reminding me.

So this morning I got settled with my coffee, dusted off my devotional, pen poised over my journal ready for whatever God had to share with me today.The verse immediately grabbed my attention: Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Ephesians 4:26-27

Did the Bible really just say be angry? I've heard the "do not let the sun go down on your anger" quoted hundreds of times, but I never really caught the first part.  I think so often we try to repress our emotions, unless of course they convey joy or happiness.  But God created us with a whole slew of emotions, all of which are okay.  However, we have to keep this "be angry" in context with the rest of the verse; God says "and yet do not sin". The feeling is okay, its the acting (or reacting) on the feeling that we need to keep in check.

As I read further Lysa TerKeurst describes a scene where the pizza delivery guy shows up to her home with only half of her order.  Now let me pause right there and point out to all the women who have joined me in going through Made to Crave, Lysa TerKeurst just admitted to ordering pizza.  And I doubt it was some magic zero carb, zero calorie pizza.  But I also doubt it's a weekly occurrence in her house; everything in moderation.

Moving on, so the pizza guy shows up with half of her order, apologizes and offers to be back in 20 minutes with the other half of her order.  She could have gotten mad and demanded a discount or coupons but instead she offered him grace and told him that was okay.  Her husband made the remark that he wished he could receive that kind of grace as well.  Ouch.

She went on to say how it's all to easy to give grace to someone who is a stranger, someone who our feelings are completely neutral towards.  And yet when it comes to those closest to us we spew on them.  TerKeurst describes it as having "accumulated aggravations" which lead to having "accumulated impact".

When we are close to someone and spend significant time with them it's easy to collect little annoyances.  And sure one little comment or disappointment or hurt doesn't seem such a big deal at the time but if we hang on to them  they accumulate and we eventually become angry.  While feeling angry and even hurt or disappointed is okay, we need to be so careful to not act on our anger or to spew or come unglued. Why?

Verse 27 "and do not give the devil an opportunity." Satan would love nothing better than to see you let the sun go down on your anger.  To see you explode all over the people you love.  Because then he wins.

Last night a group of ladies and I were going through our Made to Crave study when this question came up: "Is there someone in your life that for whatever reason you find it difficult to spend time with?"  We all have them but it's a convicting question.  It went on further to ask, "What if we looked at this person through a lens of compassion? What hurts or hardships does this person have?" And then the dreaded "What act of kindness could you do for this person this week?"

Often times the people that immediately come to mind when these questions are asked are people who have hurt us and make us angry.  People who we'd be perfectly content to let the sun go down on our anger for.  But instead of giving Satan an opportunity what if stopped collecting aggravations and  instead offered up grace like Lysa did for the pizza delivery guy.

Father God,
Thank you for the love and grace you lavishly give us.  Help us to live lives full of grace and show love to those closest to us as well as to those who we find difficult.  Help us to let go of the things that hurt us, disappoint us and make us angry.  We don't want to give Satan any opportunity.
In Jesus holy and precious name,
Amen.