Coming Unglued...

My husband went back to school a few months ago along with continuing to work full time. Now I won't lie, as proud of him as I am these have been some trying months. (He agrees with me, so it's okay to share.) I've been trying to keep his schedule with him, because we are a team but the lack of sleep is wearing us both down.  Our girls are starting to act out too.  I think they are tired of hearing "Daddy is already gone to work." "Daddy's at school." "We need to be quiet and leave Daddy alone so he can study."

There's been little chance for "fun", there just isn't time. Date nights started to consist of grocery shopping or scrubbing the floor on hands and knees (but at least we did it together). We find ourselves apologizing often for being short and irritable with each other.  Patience and grace are in short supply.

Then an opportunity presented itself.  Potentially life altering. Potentially exciting and maybe a little scary.  So we prayed. We prayed for a clear path. We prayed for open and shut doors. We prayed for wisdom. We prayed for answers.

But what we got wasn't really an answer. It was an impasse. It was a stalemate.  No clear direction. No open or shut door.  And an incredible feeling of disappointment.

Because God is God and his timing is perfect, it was no coincidence that God would reveal himself to me as I sat down with my Unglued devotional this morning.  I was reading step number five in how to deal with a situation that has the potential to make you come unglued.  And if I'm honest I need every one of these steps right now.

Step one. Inquire of the Lord. Ask Him to help me remember who I am. His. Loved. Accepted. Wanted.  I know that He has a plan for us and even though I have no idea what it is right now, I know it's to prosper us and not harm us.  I know it's to give us a hope and a future. Lord, help us remember who You made us to be.

Step two.  Focus on the Lord.  One very hard day I texted a friend. It went something like this "My kids are crazy and my husband came home sick and I want to scream." She told me to tell Jesus "Jesus, it's just you and me tonight. I may not have it in me but You have enough for both of us."  I said that over and over and over that night until all was quiet in the house. Lord, help us remember it's just us and You and You are enough for all of us.

Step three. Be obedient to God's word. Our job is obedience. God's job is results. I can't do it on my own. I was never meant too.  Lord, help us to cease striving and to remain in Your will. Help us to wait patiently while you produce results. And Lord, remind us that even when we are faithless, You are always faithful.

Step four. Practice gratitude.  Lord, help me to stop looking at everything that is wrong and at everything I think I want and I can't have. Lord, I want to praise you for all that is right! Help me to have a thankful heart each and every day.

Step five. My reactions determine my reach.  After our youngest was born early and rushed away to a NICU an hour away I sat alone in the maternity ward, with no baby, wondering what I did wrong. How could I have prevented this? My doctor came in and gave me this little nugget of wisdom I'll never forget.  She told me she didn't know why Mia had come early and it was certainly nothing I did or didn't do. And maybe there wasn't some lesson or message to learn from it, but maybe it was the way we handled the situation that would affect someone else and God would use it to touch their life. Lord, remind me of the influence I have on others.  I may not be leading a kingdom or in a position of authority but we do make an impact on those we come in contact with every day.

Maybe you are at an impasse in your life or facing a tough time.  I pray that I can encourage you that you are not alone.  We're there too.  But more importantly, so is Jesus and He's got this!